By Matthew Spencer and Jennifer Kaneshiro
One of the biggest concerns we had as a first-time family moving through the adoption process, was the unknown about the family care situation our child was in during the two years between our process starting and the time we were able to bring him home. We could always see the smile on his face when we received updates and found some comfort in that, but you still just really never know.
We were so delighted when we were finally able to meet Makaio’s foster mother, Mrs. Kwon. The love that she, along with her four children gave to our son during those two years was evident from the very first meeting. They had created a bond that only one with the best intentions and love for a child could create. Makaio not only came home to us as healthy as could be, but with a personality that could only be created in an environment filled with encouragement, fun, and love. Mrs. Kwon cared for our son as one of her own for those two years, and we could never thank her enough for the love and effort she put into that time with him.
Mrs. Kwon was very open during our meetings and really took the time to talk about Makaio’s quirks and his overall personality and what that looked like in a home environment. To think that this is just a job to these foster mothers would be such an understatement. If you take the time to talk, and to listen, you will see the genuine love that these foster mothers have for these children. This is a chapter of our sons’ life that we don’t want to go untold and keeping this relationship alive will help ensure that his story is complete.
We have since been able to keep in touch with Mrs. Kwon along with her children and keep them updated on Makaio as the years have passed. Her three daughters visited us in Dallas, TX in 2015 and we were even able to spend several days with her and her children when we returned to South Korea during our second adoption in 2016. During that visit they were able to visit both of our mothers as well, which was really special to all of us. We really speak as if they are a true extension of our immediate family. We currently have plans to return to South Korea in November of this year and we are already planning a few outings with Makaio’s foster family.
While we can never replace the lost years with Makaio, we are just so thankful and indebted to Mrs. Kwon and her family. Their love for our son can never be questioned, their embrace after not seeing one another for over two years tells a story in itself. Our advice to any family considering visiting a foster mother is simple……just do it. The entire experience for us was so fulfilling and has created a bond and a relationship that can never be broken. I urge everyone to keep in mind that once your child is on your arms and your care, those thoughts that you once carried, those fears that you once had, and the unknowns that you once experienced…..those are now the foster mothers thoughts, fears, and concerns. For us, opening this dialogue helped ease all of those what ifs for us, and for her.
Thank you to ALL of the foster mothers, parents, families that are there when our children need them the most!